Nadean J. Barton
I have certainly had my fair share of life tests and challenges. Some were small, while others were large enough to shake the core foundation within myself, transforming me into something much stronger than I ever imagined. But one area of life that I think is important to talk about is the power of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is that fundamental aspect of life that is critical for overall happiness, but extremely hard to master, especially when someone does you wrong in such a way that leaves an emotional scar. But think about this moment as a gift, a hurdle that is pushing you to reach into the depths of who you are so you can grow. Realize that with some guidance, support, and practice, you can implement forgiveness within your life to truly set your mind and soul free and conquer this life test.
Forgive, But Don’t Forget
As I said before, forgiveness is not easy, but it is worth it for your own sake and wellbeing. When someone hurts you in any way, forgiving them may be the last thing you want to do. However, think about what that grudge is doing to you. That negative energy is only going to poison your own body in the end. With that in mind, forgive them. As much as you don’t want to, do it for yourself.
But keep in mind that forgiveness does not equate to forgetting. You have every right to use that life circumstance as a learning opportunity to avoid being put in the same situation ever again. Forgive the person who hurt you, but never allowing them to do it again is the key to personal growth, realizing your worth, and knowing what you deserve.
Moving Forward Without Resentment
Resentment is that ugly thing that can grow from holding onto hate and negativity for too long. What you must realize is that it will not go away on its own either; you have to take action to rid yourself of that emotional cancer so you can move forward and host a healthy, happy life. Some ways to help you with this test include:
- Truly, deeply, and completely forgive the person. This is the only way to begin letting go of that resentment. If you’ve read my first book, “Can A Girl Catch A Break,” Chapter, 3- I Resent You Dad. That chapter was written out of hurt, anger, disappointment and I have learned and came to the point where I was able to forgive my dad. I swore if he had paid for my dorms for the three scholarships I had received for track, I would have been in the Olympics. God has a purpose and everything happens for a reason.
- Throw out the idea that you need to be right, or that resentment is a punishment to the other person for hurting you. It’s not, and you are only hurting yourself. As the saying goes: “Living with resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other guy to get sick.”
- Don’t hide your feelings or try to dim them in. Your feelings is a raw and real and deserve to be felt to the fullest. Once you are able to grieve adequately, that will give you the ability to move forward, knowing that you have no unfinished business to return to once you leave that mindset.
- Think of this test as a way to thrive. You now know what you can expect, who you can trust, and what you need in order to be happy. You may not have come to that realization without this challenging moment in time.
Testimony Begins with “Test”
Every single thing we face each day is a test. It makes us evaluate our quality, commitment, love, and self-awareness to the max. Those tests, no matter how much they may emotionally kill us or how unfair they may seem, are there for us to embrace and learn from. They are our trials and refusing to run from them will allow us to come out stronger on the other side. There is always a test in testimony, and there is always growth and happiness in forgiveness.
Remember there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, love yourself first